Soccer Moms of the Sandwich Generation: Caring for Aging Parents
9/05
Due to the inability to obtain quality home care for disabled seniors who require it and due to the high cost of nursing home admission which is now approximately $120,000.00 per year, the burden of caring for aged family members is falling to family caregivers. Experience and statistics show that, it is the mother of the household who most often bears most of the burden for the care of elderly seniors in the household, even when the seniors are in-laws.
Many baby boomers are caught in what is known as the sandwich generation where parents, grandparents and children are all living together in one house. With little or no alternatives, the mother’s in these households are quickly becoming the bedrock upon which our nation’s health care system depends. It is not unusual today to have parents in their 50s caring for teens, twentysomethings and even thirtysomethings (who cannot afford to move out of the house) while also trying to care for parents in their 70s and 80s. Due to the enormous costs involved in long-term care, this trend can only increase.
Trying to raise pre-teens and teens and participate in their active lifestyles is difficult enough. When you add in the duties and responsibilities of caring for seniors who can no longer care for themselves, you can see how these baby boomers are being “sandwiched” into the unexpected role of primary caregiver.
The caregiver’s role can be that of nurse, therapist, cook, maid, chauffer, banker, confidant and companion. This role can be rewarding, frustrating and, at times, way too much to handle. Out of necessity, the caregivers will typically learn all about medications, insurance, social security, home care and nursing homes. Often times, the caregiver’s role is a twenty-four hour job. The most frustrating part for most caregivers is the loss of control over their own lives that results from having too much responsibility as the primary caregiver of someone else.
Experience and statistics also show that the caregiver role is typically assumed by one individual. Usually it is the mother in the house where the senior now resides. In many cases, there are other siblings nearby who can help, both with their time and with the added expenses; however, in most cases, the burden usually falls to the primary caregiver.
If you are a primary caregiver, it is important, both for your sake and for the sake of your family, that you get the assistance that you need from other family members and outside agencies if possible. It is important that you get to take a break and enjoy your own life and interests on a regular basis. When there are siblings who are nearby, the family should plan a schedule where each sibling will contribute time and money, if necessary for the care of an elderly parent. You will need to educate yourself as to what is available in the form of home health care, senior day care services and other services for seniors in your community. You will have to watch your own health as being a primary caretaker for an aging parent can lead to bouts of depression and/or physical problems due to lifting, pushing and pulling.
There are plenty of web sites worth looking at if you are a primary caregiver in your home. Some of the better sites are www.thefamilycaregiver.org, www.caps4caregivers.org and www.wellspouse.org.